Butterfly of Thanatos
by My Name is Alice
Summary: I am Miura Haru...but then I am not. I am Alice, and I should be stone cold dead, yet here I am being Haru in this crazy world of mobsters and magical abilities. I suppose having these flame powers, fun adventures, good friends, and hot dudes isn't that bad of a second life….Right? ?/SIOC
1. Chapter 1, Pilot

**...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Any characters and/or familiar plots in this fan fiction belong to Akira Amano. Anything unfamiliar with the audience belongs to me.**

Chapter 1

Pilot

Today...was a very bad day. I woke up late, couldn't turn in the homework I so painstakingly stood up half the night for, found I had flunked my test, realized I hadn't done an assignment due that day, left my binder in the previous period, and was surprised with the bill of an overdue book. Not to mention I had to walk home with a dead cell phone and a friend of a friend who I was _very _tempted to cause physical harm to, had the time I needed to do homework taken away by visiting an aunt and gotten into those infamous arguments children have with their parents that leave their kids absolutely _loathing_ their lives right on my aunt's doorstep.

I inhaled deeply, nose and mouth buried in my cupped hands, bundling all of my feelings and swallowing fiercely, the tears not going away but not trailing my cheek.

_Damn… Damn. Damn! _Damn! **Damn!**

I had always believed I could do this. I liked to think that I was stronger than others took me for. But this… This… _I don't think I can do this. _

I could feel something breaking.

"What are you doing?" I jumped, cursing out loud as my head snapped towards the pool. Lacie held the pale ledge as she stared at me with large brown eyes. They were framed by long lashes, and she always hid her face in embarrassment whenever we teased her about them.

I frowned, trying to seem composed, heart pounding in trepidation. _Did she see?! Did she see me almost break?!_ "What are you doing in the pool?" I thanked whatever god was out there that my voice didn't crack at that moment.

"Swimming." She answered, making her way to the deep end with small shuffles against the marble.

_That's not swimming… _"You're ten and you don't know how to swim." I said, voice almost a question, intending to provoke her and distract myself from the turmoil in my head.

"So?" She looked at me with a defiant look in her eyes, and I nearly laughed at the irony. What a family full of prideful women.

Shame drilled into the center of my chest in remembrance of my mother's hurtful words. I nearly convinced myself that I _was_ just like my father then and there.

_Stop it. _I was nothing like him. Nothing.

…Right?

_Stop it. _So I boasted. Just because I could. And because I was prideful too. "Celia and I are self-taught." And then I regretted it. _Maybe I am like my father after all..._

"I don't care." She responded. _Little fucker! _I immediately forgot about my father in my annoyance. And then I noticed the confusion in her eyes. My eyebrow would have twitched if it could. _Doesn't know what self-taught means..._

"Honestly," I sighed, "you'd think you'd already know how to swim. You've spent the entire of last summer in that pool and all you've done is cling to that ledge." I made my way over to a chair in the shade, leaving behind the glass door I had slammed in my pain. "What are you doing in there anyways? It's not hot enough."

It really wasn't. Maybe the lack of wind made the air stuffy in its warmth…

I watched her progress, waiting for her to answer me. She didn't. "Tch. Ungrateful brat." I leaned back and sighed, trying to rub the tension at the base of my neck away. "Where's Celia?"

"Bathroom." Ah. She _had _been complaining about her stomach on the ride here.

"MAMI!" My eyes flew open at the panic, shooting to my feet in apprehension. I barely registered Lacie flailing in the water when I jumped in, the water cold and making my bodily functions pause. I didn't wait for my body to adjust to the temperature, merely swam towards my baby sister, finding my movements awkward and stiff due to my baggy clothing.

Arriving underneath her, I was forced to push against her midriff so she could breathe, my strength too small and her weight too large for me to pull her out. _She just needs air. She just needs air. Someone will help. They'll come soon._ She continued to flail like a frog despite the probability of death being gone. Her actions were ridiculous and annoying, and I couldn't help but think, _Stop panicking, you idiot!_

Her yells were dull on my ears, and I was faintly aware that I was slowly sinking. I pushed and pushed upwards, but found a strength pulling me downward.

I knew my clothes were capable of weighing me down, but not to this extent. My legs pumped harder to keep me afloat, and I realized what it was.

My boots.

My damn, heavy, cumbersome, hazardous, cheap, military combat boots.

They were the death of me.

My arms strained to push the ten year old's abdomen, and I panicked whenever my fingertips left her skin.

**No!** _NotHerNotHerNotHerNotHer!_

_WHERE _IS _EVERYONE?_

_They'll come soon! They're coming! They'recomingThey'recomingThey'recomingThey'recoming!_

My lungs burned and there was a pressure building against my temples. My eyes stung from the bleached water, and the sun above Lacie seemed to grow brighter the longer I was under.

_Comeon!Comeon!Saveher!Saveher!_She's drowning!

WHY _AM I _**FAILING?**

_Heretheycome!They'realmosthere!Justalittlebitmore!Justalittlebitmore! _Just a little bit more!

I exhaled when the heaviness against my chest was too much for me to take, and my ears rang at the hasty action. I inhaled upon reflex, unconsciously making the world spin and water clog my senses.

_It hurts! _It hurts! **Make it stop!**

I faintly heard a gurgle, and I extended my arms, my movements slow and dumb, confused.

_Ihavetosaveher!Shecan'tdie!Ihavetosaveher!Shecan'tdie!_

_COMEON!COMEON! _**COME ON!**

_Justalittlemore!Justalittlemore!Almostthere!_

_DON'T YOU _**DARE**_DIE ON ME!_

I was sinking too fast, and I was forced to flip and push her up with my legs instead. The pressure in my head increased, and my body hurt from lack of oxygen and the strain of unused muscles.

AAHHH! _It hurts! It hurts! _**It hurts!**

_WHERE _IS _EVERYONE?!_

**Make it stop!**

_She's dying! Sheisn'tbreathing!No!No!Not yet!_

_COMEON!COME ON!_

_WHAT KIND OF BIG SISTER _**AM I?!**

I kept my neck craned to see if the ten year old was still above the surface. My vision had already been shrinking when she was pulled out of the pool by lithe shadows.

Everything went numb in relief.

_Thank god._

_THANK _**GOD!**

A vague thought pierced my mind. _Swim. Surface. Air. _I moved once, twice, and felt the tension in my mind pop.

The world went dark.

* * *

**Thanks to:**

**MissEccentricWriter **(for that summary!)

**Teafully **(for proofreading!)

* * *

_Haha... Eccy and I broke up..._

_This story, along with my popular (surprisingly) fic, _Chariot of Helios, _will be priority._

_Updates should be frequent, until school starts up again that is, but I'm not promising anything._

_Please review!_

_—Alice_


	2. Chapter 2, Mending

**...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Any characters and/or familiar plots in this fan fiction belong to Akira Amano. Anything unfamiliar with the audience belongs to me.**

Chapter 2

Mending

_Miura Haru was born Tuesday, May 3rd, in Namimori Hospital at 21:12:15, at 7 lb 8 oz._

I was five years old when the memories came. I didn't understand any of it, especially since the images began mingling with my present ones: a girl named Alice, a mathematician for a father, baby sisters, the Japanese language, a single mother, Spanish, English, laughing, crying. My head cramped and it hurt _so much_ that I couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't. It became so bad that my mother—_No, _Miura Haru's mother—did not hesitate to find help for her child—_Īe… _Miura Haru.

Nothing was wrong.

And the worried look she kept on passing me when she thought I wasn't looking reminded me of my past mother. The panic and fear on her face whenever I accidentally mixed fluent English and Spanish with my Japanese, the fear whenever I didn't understand or recognize her...

I wanted it to stop.

So…as soon as I got my bearings, or as soon as Miura Haru and I's train of thought merged for a common goal...I pretended it never happened.

It took a few weeks to convince her it was all just an attention seeking lie. Even then, she looked skeptical, but as time passed and I clutched my head behind a door, stifling my cries against my knees as the last memories settled, she smiled and pretended it never happened.

Somehow… when the memories finally settled down...after all of the hysterical denial, violent anger, and heart wrenching depression in public bathrooms to avoid detection, I came to the reluctant realization that I was Miura Haru. No matter the different personalities or different experiences, all of the memories and influences were cramped into one head so perfectly both the original Haru and I were intertwined in an intricate pattern that no one could detangle.

I was Miura Haru.

Well, sort of.

I was a _new_ Miura Haru.

And you know what's even worse? Having all of those memories and unconsciously comparing _everything_ around me. For one, I had a father here, and the perks of being a single child were wonderful, albeit lonely. And...I missed my mother...a strong, proud woman with the strength to raise three girls without breaking down once. And if she did, she had the good sense not to do it in front of us. Heh heh, how stupid of me to realize how much we had in common only now… Here, my mother was the epitome of femininity. No calloused hands or pained feet. No heavy eyelids, or weary sighs. There was such a delicacy here...

It _scared_ me. Would I grow to be like her to? I had taken pride in my mental strength, and the thought of being as _feminine, _maybe even _weak,_ as Miura Haru was, or as she was portrayed…

_No no no._

It scared me.

To the core.

I didn't want to be like that.

It went against everything I believed in.

I was _not _weak!

And my sisters… Celia, Lacie...they were annoying, just like all siblings, there's no doubt about that. But you know what? I love them. How couldn't I? I had practically raised them. Heh heh. Maybe I'm being conceited, but the thought… was too beautiful for me to give up. I took care of them, I willingly did wrong so that they wouldn't repeat my mistakes, I feed them, I cleaned up after them, I laughed with them, I made them cry, they made me cry, they hurt me, I hurt them, I yelled and cursed and _begged _them to do what was right, all because I _love _them.

I was raised with the belief that blood is thicker than water. And upon curiosity, I remember asking Celia, "What would happen if I died? Hypothetically speaking." And she answered with, "If you died… haha, I don't want to think about it." Upon my insistence, she answered with, "I honestly don't know." Annoyed, I demanded a guess, "Well… I feel...that Ma would be so consumed in grief she would lean on Lacie… Lacie's still a baby, so she wouldn't be able to take the pressure and wear maturity as a disguise, never growing up. As for me…" she sighed, "I'd have to pull on my pants and support the family. I'd have to replace you as the foundation, Alice."

I had felt so touched. To think that I had such a big role… "What flowers would you bury me in?" She had answered immediately, "White lilies." I had been disappointed, "That's it?" She thought about it, "Roses and arums too, then." I turned away, "Bury me in poppies." I had muttered.

And now…looking back... I regret a lot of things. One of them being the lack of, 'I love you,' spoken that day. But they aren't stupid! They know I love them. I had said so. Multiple times.

Multiple times… Heh heh. Maybe I was being conceited again...

But, dying after an argument...maybe it wasn't the best way to go...

_And that was when Alice Menendez became one with Miura Haru._

* * *

Miura Emi was a beautiful woman with long, perfect curls of the darkest ebony (usually tied in a side ponytail), and eyes that put the night sky to shame in their depth and amount of stars. Her lips were a pretty pink and her smile would light up a room. Her laugh could dispel disease and her singing could end poverty.

She was not unlike Maria Veronica.

"What a shame such a beautiful woman married such a plain man." A mother whispered, none too discreetly. My hand twitched, the action nearly making me miss my grip on the uneven bars. _Calm down, calm down, _I exhaled, disturbing the few tendrils of hair that escaped my high ponytail. _I'm getting tired of these_—

"I wonder why she chose Miura Kazuo out of all the suitors she had." A meek brunette muttered, brushing back her son's hair.

_That's it. _I landed, pausing to make sure I had caught my balance, my routine earning polite claps from the spectators. I bowed quickly before pivoting on my right foot and making my way over to the benches, violently tearing off my gloves in annoyance.

"Haru~!" I was suddenly thrown up into the air, my squeal nearly concealing the laugh my mother emitted. "That was amazing~! Mamma's so proud of you~!" She sat and placed me on her lap, slender fingers tickling the sides of my leotard.

"Okāsan!" I snapped, trying to keep a straight face and failing. "I-I got to—" I became breathless with giggles. "T-Those women—" Tears were collecting at the corners of my eyes!

"It's okay, Haru." She breathed into my neck, making me pause. I felt her sigh ruffle my hair as she pulled me closer to her, voice weary. "It's okay."

I frowned. "No, it isn't—" She tickled me again, leaving my sides sore and my lungs burning. _Why am I so ticklish! _I wasn't this ticklish in my past life!

"They don't know anything," She continued, once I had calmed down. She righted me in her lap, smooth fingers fixing my hair. "Okāsan is very happy with Otōsan." I stared at her, snapping my head away at her happy expression. _Now I know why J.M. Barrie said Wendy had a kiss at the corner of her mouth..._

"If what they're saying is true," I mumbled, curious and a little embarrassed at my thoughts, "Why _did _you marry Otōsan?" It was a strange combination. Miura Kazuo was a plain man in every aspect, which only increased my respect for him.

She blinked, then smiled widely, leaning forward so our foreheads touched to rub our noses together. I flushed at the show of affection. "Because Otōsan makes Okāsan happy, and now, he makes Okāsan and Haru happy." I blinked, letting the words process in my mind.

"Okay." I mumbled, wondering why her use of third person made everything easier to understand. _Is that why Miura Haru spoke in third person?_

"Come on, I think you're done with gymnastics today. We'll go shopping after you clean up." I nodded my assent, wanting to desperately leave this place and get a cold shower while I was at it.

"Okay." She smiled at my response, making my chest flutter as I shakily grinned back at her. "Oh, that reminds me." She lifted me into her arms, placing me on her hip as she picked up her bag with her left hand. "What do you want for dinner Haru-chan?"

I thought about it. "Tempura." I answered.

She laughed.

* * *

**Thanks to:**

**Teafully **(thanks a lot!)

**Dustflame **(haha, got lots to think about, yeah!)

**10th Squad 3rd Seat **(haha, lessons don't seem to help)

**Not-Gonna-Update **(thanks a lot! your words were...inspiring? haha)

**BrokenAria **(thanks a lot! i feel as if you know what i'm planning...)

**Yamamoto Fan **(here you go. thanks a lot!)

* * *

_Sorry... that's all I've got to say._

MissEccentricWriter _and I originally planned a collaboration where she was Kyoko and I was Haru. We broke up, but I really wanted to continue, so this story was born! Uh... I hope this story is to your tastes. _Butterfly of Thanatos _is more solidly planned out in my head than _Chariot of Helios...

_Anyways! Please review!_

_—Alice_


	3. Chapter 3, Openings

**...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Any characters and/or familiar plots in this fan fiction belong to Akira Amano. Anything unfamiliar with the audience belongs to me.**

Chapter 3

Openings

**Age: 6**

"Ne, Haru-chan?" The voice made me jump, the black butterfly quickly fluttering away in a panic. _Damn..._

"Hm?" I mumbled, looking up and watching Shiro's eyes catch the white _tsubaki_ I had previously been studying before the butterfly had arrived. _Strange color, it was…_

He cocked his head, tearing his gaze from the flower to meet my eyes. I blinked at him, signaling him to continue. He walked over, crouching next to me to look at the white camellia. We didn't speak, the sound of the wind and buzzing of bees filling the silence.

"You seem different." He said, his voice blending well with the background noise. The warmth of his body against mine was prominent and strangely comforting as my mind slowly processed his words.

_Different? He noticed? _That was impressive, for an eight year old. Especially since he only started to play with me this summer… Then again, weren't children strangely perceptive? "Is that good?" I asked, looking at the white haired boy at an angle.

"Mmm…" He stared at the single flower intently, lavender eyes unwavering. "I don't know." He answered finally, head snapping over to me with a grin. "But I like it!"

I looked away, exhaling in a rush; a habit I carried from my past life to expel either nervousness or tension or to just regain my breath. "I guess it's a good thing, then." _Wonder why he didn't like Miura Haru before my memories came back… _

"Ne, Haru-chan, are you coming next year too?" He asked, a strange expression on his face. I looked at him a moment, searching his eyes for idiocy. I found none.

It was a silly question. We came to the island of Sado every summer to visit my grandparents on my Otōsan's side (they were a gentle elderly couple who deserved to pass on in their sleep). But I didn't blame the boy, he was a neglected child, and he liked to boast I was his best friend with a large grin on his face despite the fact I was only going to be here two months a year.

Besides, I liked him. He was fun to be with.

"I think so." I replied, extending my hand to break the flower's stem. It was really pretty, and I was filled with a childish desire to keep it near myself until it wilted.

"Haru-chan!" Shiro's voice was so loud and _against my ear _that I jumped, hand flying to my chest in panic.

"What?! What is it?!" I looked at him with a pounding heart, feeling my expression fall when he leaned forward and cut the camellia, presenting it to me with a grin on his face.

"A going away present." He nearly laughed, making my shoulders slump at the innocent action.

"You scared me!" I exhaled, trying to pinch my annoyance away. _He _is _giving me a flower, _I thought in hopes of convincing myself of his innocence. Which he had. Of course he did. He was eight. "Thank you, Shiro-kun." I said, taking the flower from his hands. _Oh well…_ A drop of blood splashed on the pavement in between us and I stared at it, mind slowly processing...

"Huh? Shiro-kun did you cut yourself?" I asked, voice rising at the end uncomfortably (which I hated to admit, since I thought I grew out of that).

"Hm?" He brought his hand forwards, palm upwards, and I took his wrist to better see the thin cut on his fingertip. "I guess I did." He said with a small smile. _Kamisama, he's almost as bad as Yamamoto… _

"At least it isn't bad," I sighed, bringing his forefinger to my lips. My tongue ran along the small wound, the taste of blood sharp in my mouth. I looked up when the boy didn't respond to my action, because this might be awkward despite saliva being good for wounds—my heart nearly stopping at the look in his eyes.

_Why...are his eyes unnerving me?_

Because those are not the eyes of an eight year old.

I knew little of Ran Shiro. Other than him being a product of an arranged marriage by the island's two most prominent families, and thus suffering from neglect despite all of the people he was surrounded with. I knew he hadn't grown with the love and care Miura Haru had grown up with, and maybe his childhood was worse than Alice Menendez's. _Is that why Shiro didn't like Miura Haru? _Because she was too innocent? Did my sudden maturity catch his eye? Still, I found it amazing he smiled the way he did. It was definitely inspirational—

_Wait._ Was his face getting closer?!

He didn't look away from my eyes as he leaned towards me, the air between us warm and humid. He breathed against my face and I found my lungs curling into themselves at the lack of oxygen, my ears ringing.

_Is he…is he going to…?_

Yes, he was. He brought his wounded index finger to my chin, my hand tightening around his wrist in nervousness. My eyelids unconsciously slid half-closed as I inhaled sharply, the older boy following my example as our lips met. It was a chaste kiss, the skin barely brushing but definitely prominent. He leaned forwards some more, the pressure against my lips increasing. When the blankness of my mind faded to clear thought I pushed against him, mind racing on what to do next.

I had only kissed one boy in my past life, and I couldn't think of a way to keep this PG fast enough.

So when he broke the kiss, and looked at me with a curious look in his eyes, I was never more grateful for Miura Emi in this short life.

"Haru! We're leaving!"

I jumped, face burning when Shiro blinked. "Um, I, uh, gotta go, so, I'll—" I swallowed, mouth dry. "I'll see you next summer!" I shot up, running as fast as my little six year old legs could take me. I promptly tripped, arms waving wildly as I caught myself with a squeak, ears hot as I felt the boy's lavender gaze drill into me.

"Did you say good-bye to Shiro-kun?" Okāsan asked with a smile after I had slammed the car door behind me, watching as I fiddled with my seat belt from the passenger seat.

"Yes!" I snapped involuntarily, heart thudding. "Can we go now?"

She blinked, confused. "Did you get in a fight with Shiro-kun?"

"What?" I frowned, perplexed on how she came up with such a reason. Then I remembered what happened. "No! No! No, we didn't fight!" I shook my head fiercely, cheeks warming.

She cocked her head, watching me with dark eyes that made me blush harder. "I see…" Her gaze lowered to the white camellia still in my hands, and a smile slowly formed on her face. "Oh…" She drawled, hiding her grin behind her hand. "I see."

Was I a tomato yet? "No! No, you don't see!" I argued, groaning when she nodded and agreed with me.

Otōsan seemed lost in the conversation, and I deftly turned towards the window, grumbling under my breath as Miura Emi hummed happily.

_Stupid, tsubaki._

* * *

**Omake: What He Was Thinking**

Ran Shiro had a vague memory of Daichi (the family butler) telling him kisses were for people he liked. So when Miura Haru looked at him with large brown eyes framed by long eyelashes that made him think, _Haru-chan's really pretty…_, he was filled with a burning curiosity that needed to be satisfied immediately.

He had leaned in, happy as she grew nervous at the lack of personal space, proud of himself at causing such a reaction. Her lips were slightly chapped due to the changing weather, he remembered her saying, but it didn't deter his surprise when she kissed him back.

When he pulled away, he cocked his head and evaluated his feelings, coming to a conclusion he didn't doubt for a moment. _Yup. I like Haru-chan. _

His amusement only grew when she became a flustering, blushing mess, her stutters only making his smile widen due to their usual lack of composure. _Hm~? Haru-chan's cute this way too._

He watched as she shot to her feet and ran away, his spine straightening in alarm as she tripped, yet soon relaxing as she caught herself. He didn't move as she jumped into the car and went away, the thin dust clouds vanishing a little too quickly.

He hummed to himself, tongue tracing his lips.

_I want to kiss Haru-chan, again._

May the audience please note Ran Shiro's feelings were anything _but _romantic.

Yet.

* * *

**Thanks to:**

**10th Squad 3rd Seat **(yeah, thanks a lot!)

**KiraLoveless **(hm...don't know about that. here's that update!)

**DaughterofDemeter123 **(_yes! _i understand completely! as for femininity conflicts...we'll see about that ;)

**Dustflame **(haha)

**Not-Gonna-Update **(what do you think, now?)

**JollyLoser **(haha, here we go, then)

* * *

_Haha, the Omake's last line made me laugh. So? What do you think? That was my first time writing anything _but_ first person. I hope that was good._

_I've got a lot of things planned for this. I hope you all will like it._

_Please review! Please?_

_—Alice_


	4. Chapter 4, Demons

**...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Any characters and/or familiar plots in this fan fiction belong to Akira Amano. Anything unfamiliar with the audience belongs to me.**

Chapter 4

Demons

**Age: 7**

Miura Emi, is daughter to Italian architect, Durante (nicknamed: Dante) Incubo, and Japanese housewife, Akane Jigokuno. Her husband, Miura Kazuo, having taken the summer break to be spent in the island of Sado with his own parents, resulted in Emi claiming rights to having the winter holidays spent in her hometown: Venice, Italy.

Thus, began our yearly adventure.

The Miura family hopped on a plane, landed in the Marco Polo International Airport, took a taxi into the Venetian Lagoon, and met the Incubos after riding a waterbus and walking along the cobblestones for several minutes.

The smoothness of the visit still reminded me of the one two years prior.

Back then, my memories had just settled and Dante Incubo's smile had immediately dropped upon meeting my eyes for the first time. He subtly insisted on not touching me and he stared at me so intently and for such a long time over the course of a few weeks, that it made me paranoid to the point of, _Stop! Stop it!_—_Why_—_doesheknowdoesheknow—NoNoNo_—_bullshit bullshit bullshit!_—_nowaynotpossiblecan'thappen—nonono—please lookaway lookaway pleaseplease_please!—_HIS EYES—HISEYESHISEYESHISEYES_—_STOP LOOKING AT ME!_—STOP! _STOP IT!_—_MAKEIT_STOP!

He never _said_ anything.

And then… near the end of my stay… slowly yet surely, he began to treat me like the granddaughter I was supposed to be. And the feeling was _SO GOOD _and _WARM _and _YESYES_FINALLY!FINALLY! that when the realization came, I failed to hold in the tears and startled the fat pigeons in St. Mark's square in my deficiency.

This time around, Dante Incubo spoke to me with the maturity I was entitled to, yet treated me with the spoiling qualities a grandfather bestowed his granddaughter. It was a nice relationship. One that gave off the feeling of, _he knows—I don't need to pretend—he_knows—_thankgod!thankgod!thankgod!—Idon't_needtopretend!_, _around him.

It was...peaceful. Blissful. Everything I _needed _in a world where I was a confused _lost_ gone jumbled _fragile _girl all over again.

A world where no one could save me.

So when the heartbreakingly handsome man asked me if I wanted to go to his weekly chess club with him, my first reaction was a hurried gasp of, "Let me get changed."

It was one of the few times he ever asked me to accompany him anywhere, since he usually asked me where I wanted to go and I answered because who wouldn't want to explore Venice, Italy? _But_ I wasn't a fan of chess. Or any kind of board came for that matter. Yet I was curious on _why _Dante Incubo would suddenly want me to come.

When I got what I _believed _to be an answer, it started the _doesheknowdoesheknow—NoNoNo_—_bullshit bullshit bullshit!_—_nowaynotpossiblecan'thappen—nonono—pleaseplease_please! cycle all over again.

Because the opponent Dante Incubo spoke of so fondly was Timoteo, Ninth Boss of the Vongola Famiglia.

I took in a shaky breath, trying to calm the drumming of my heart and erraticness of my blood flow. I was suddenly grateful of the tightening of my grandfather's hand around my knuckles. _Does he...does he _know? _Why else would he_—_?_

"—and this is my granddaughter, Miura Haru." He was speaking Japanese, which was strange, since I would have expected him to introduce us in Italian.

"Hello, Haru-chan," The old man smiled, leaning forward to better give me a view of his short, yet thick, eyelashes. I fidgeted a bit under his gaze, thoughts of _ohmygod ohmygod_—_isthisreal_—_amIdreaming_—_I'm dreaming_—_I_must_bedreaming_—_I_havetobe_dreaming_—because—_thiscan'tbehappening_—_this_can't_behappening_—because—because—

Timoteo of the Vongola Famiglia...here in front of me…

It made it _so so _real.

And it _scared _me.

Someone _**save me**__._

"My name is Timoteo."

I **know.**

His Japanese was good. Very good. "_Ciao."_ I managed to respond through the lump clogging my airway. "_Piacere di conoscerti."_ I even brought out my hand to shake, _praying _the ligament didn't tremble, and he took it with a laugh, mustache twitching in a sad impression of mirth, eyes softening.

And I thought, _he thinks I'm scared of him, _as his wrinkled-and-roughly-calloused grip on my hand grew gentle in a wistful sort of way.

"What a smart girl you are, Haru-chan." He chuckled, leaning back in his chair and settling his staff on his knees. He looked curious, and I allowed Dante Incubo to set me on his lap with the chessboard before us, my hands on my knees to keep them from playing with my hair nervously. "Do you know any other languages?" he asked, glancing at me as he carefully moved a white pawn forward.

I hesitated, wondering if I should even be interacting with this man. I worked at my jaw, stopping myself from nibbling on my lower lip just in time. "Go ahead, Haru." Dante murmured, placing his chin on the top of my head with a reverberating _thump_. I succumbed to the temptation and gnawed at my lower lip, slightly vexed at the way Dante made everything seem so _easy. _"English." I muttered, questioning on whether or not to add more languages. "And Spanish," I gave in, although reluctant on even continue out loud, "but not as well." It was embarrassing to admit that despite growing up with Spanish as my first language, I quickly outgrew it with English. And it shamed me to admit it. I had been losing a connection to my heritage.

Ironically, I _did _(being reborn Japanese with some-fraction-I-didn't-bother-to-calculate-Italian). And the ability will continue to deteriorate if I don't start working on it as soon as possible. Which I didn't want.

Timoteo smiled pleasantly, snatching up a black rook with a deftly practiced movement, "My, you can speak four languages at your age, Haru-chan?"

I shrugged, trying not to blush at the sudden glee his comment gave me (even if it was slightly teasing), because in all honesty, _I have a knack for languages, _and there were a few more I wanted to learn as well. I was already getting the hang of French, and maybe Latin or Ancient Greek would come next.

"Goodness, what a granddaughter, Dante." Timoteo chuckled, light brown eyes watching Dante's long fingers knock over his white knight. My grandfather's chest rumbled with pride, the vibrating of his throat at the back of my head causing me to blush in happiness.

It was a beautiful feeling. Being acknowledged this way.

The _best_.

"Yes. I'm a lucky man." He kissed my temple; the action so swift and heartfelt, my face exploded with the heat of both pleasure and embarrassment. "She's just like her mother." He continued, pulling me closer to his chest.

The blush faded a little, since Dante's statement was a lie. Because honestly, how could I ever be like Miura Emi?

"Really?" The Vongola Ninth Boss looked skeptical, cocking his head slightly to the side, fingers intertwined under his chin. "I find that unlikely." And then he smiled, the sun filtering through the large windows and reflecting off of the sea water of the Grand Canal lighting the left side of his face. It created a feeling of such pure _happiness_ and _delight _straight from the heart that I found myself blushing in awe at the sight.

_This… _**this **_is the smile of a _Sky.

I was left breathless.

_Kamisama… _

"Well, Haru-chan," Timoteo leaned forward, smile still in place, eyes closed. "I feel as if we'll be seeing each other a lot from now on. How about you start calling me, Nonno? I'm sure your Ojiisan won't mind."

Dante scoffed at the old man's teasing tone, but I wasn't paying attention.

"Okay." I said, the word coming out in a breath, the rush of air waking me from my stupor. The daze left and I was allowed to smile for the first time in this silently pensive room filled with the _clack clack clack _of chess pieces from the other tables set apart from the windows.

Was it strange? That I wasn't weary of him anymore?

* * *

**Thanks to:**

**KiraLoveless **(haha, thanks?)**, reviewerguest **(thanks, your right, but it's a secret!)

**Dustlfame **(haha, your review made me laugh so hard)**, 10th Squad 3rd Seat **(meh, yeah, but he's two years older than Haru)

**Colorful Sky **(yes! but it's a secret!)**, MissEccentricWriter **(what are you doing here? shouldn't you be working on your own fanfiction?)

**Not-Gonna-Update **(haha, i'd love to see your reactions! they sound interesting!)**, DarkinocensDLT **(here you go)

**little101 **(sshh! it's a secret!)**, Jessy **(yes! but it's a secret! you can't tell anyone!)

**Allykrau **(sshh! yes! but it's a secret!)**, Kenegi **(haha! i bet you do!)

* * *

_Well, everyone seems to have guessed correctly in assuming Ran Shiro _SpoilerAlert! _is Byakuran, but Haru won't be knowing this until later on!_

_In other news, I'm swamped, so updates will slow down, as said in my other fanfiction, _Chariot of Helios, _but _at the very least, _I'll try to update once a month, _the most,_ maybe twice or three times?_

_I'll try my best._

_Uh...nothing much to say here, so,_

_Please review!_

_—Alice_


	5. Chapter 5, Inception

**...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Any characters and/or familiar plots in this fan fiction belong to Akira Amano. Anything unfamiliar with the audience belongs to me.**

Chapter 5

Inception

**Age: 8**

"Shiro-kun," I tried again, an anxious coil tightening in my gut. "I _really _don't think—"

"Shh!" He pivoted, placing a finger on my lips to silence my protests. He grinned mischievously, bringing the finger to his own mouth. "We have to be _quiet_, Haru-chan." He whispered, turning forward again before I could say anything. I didn't move when he began sneaking forward again. My lack of presence at his back caused him to look over his shoulder soon enough anyways. Possibly seeing the hesitance on my face, he leaned forward, took my hand in his, and gently coaxed me into following him.

"Mm…" I swallowed another complaint, since I _was _curious about the inside of the Ran Estate, having only seen it from the outside. So far, the hallways were surprisingly wide and finely polished; the sun filtering through the paper doors lit up the faint dust motes in the air and caused a sleepy sensation to infiltrate the place. Even from what little I've seen, I could already feel the _age _and _care _put into preserving this ancient house. It was undeniably beautiful, and I caught myself from staring off into space at the green of plants through parted door slats.

But my appreciation for it only made this visit worse, since Ran Shiro had snuck me in through the back door with a key he had made just for me, and we were currently avoiding all personnel just to get to his room…

I just _knew _something bad was going to happen…

The situation absolutely _called _for it…

"Shiro-kun—"

Dread suddenly weighed me down.

_Inhale._

"Shiro." I spun towards the voice, tense and embarrassed and ashamed at being caught. My mind raced to come up with a million excuses, mouth parting to explain my recklessness, but it shut closed in shock.

The sight of a petite woman with long white hair that flowed down her back in loose waves, caught my full attention. There was a purple orchid woven into the right side of her hair that complemented her colorful kimono very nicely, and she rose the tea cup in her small hands to her cupid bow lips as she studied me over the rim. Her eyes were gray, the color so light it made her pupil seem foggy, especially with the bright color surrounding her. "What do you think you're doing?" She asked, long eyelashes brushing her cheeks in a slow blink.

I swallowed.

She… she was…

_Kamisama, she's beautiful._

And I was jealous.

"Okāsan." Shiro greeted, his voice making me glance at him and lessen the pressure building at my collar. There was a smile on his face, the action so _fake _and _stiff _and _emotionless _it made my chest tighten in— "This is my friend, Miura Haru."

He shifted the smile at me, and it melted to a much more genuine one that calmed me down and lessened my worry for him.

_He's okay. _Exhale. _He's _fine, _but…_

_There's something—_I inhaled deeply, forcing down the painful beating of my heart. "Ohayō." I greeted, bowing appropriately. "My name's Miura Haru. Nice to meet you." I made sure to use the formal form of _Yoroshiku onegaishimasu, _since I didn't want her _not _liking me; her being my friend's mother and all.

"Friend…" She echoed, her eyes looking me up and down slowly, almost hypnotically. The action was so unnerving, it made the hairs at the back of my neck rise on end. "Haru...kun…"

The honorific was a blow to my pride. Since she was stating her superiority over me…

Even if it was _slightly_ true. Age-wise.

"_Hai?"_ My voice cracked, and I frowned at the blunder, clearing my throat to rid of it. I tightened my grip on the boy's hand in sudden uneasiness, and he responded by taking a step closer to me, pressing his shoulder against mine. The contact relaxed me, and it allowed me to school the slight shaking of my knees from behind a neutral facial expression and rush of exhaled breath.

The action didn't escape his mother's attention.

"I see…" She breathed, looking away, almost as if in a sigh. Carefully, she placed the tea cup on the table, the action using too much caution and making the hairs along the back of my neck to stand on end. "Haru-kun…" She began, looking me in the eye again. Goosebumps appeared on my flesh at the way she looked at me. There was something about her tone that was _frightening_—"I'm afraid that being friends with Shiro—"

"Murasaki—" I jumped at the sound of another sliding door opening, the presence of another human being taking me off guard and increasing my skittishness. The man who suddenly appeared immediately zeroed in on my intruding existence, his lavender eyes narrowing with—

"Otōsan," Shiro greeted with another smile, this one not as tense as the one he had given his mother, but still so painfully obvious and _there_. "This is my friend, Miura Haru."

I swallowed, my heart against my throat. The forced casualness was _slowly,_ _choking_— "Ohayō." I greeted again, bowing; so very _very _tempted to just stare at the floor to escape the attention. To run away. But my pride wouldn't allow it. And my stubbornness wasn't helping. "My name's Miura Haru, nice to meet you."

I straightened to catch his surprised blink, lavender eyes quickly glancing at the woman to his left. Their eyes met and the temperature in the room suddenly dropped several degrees, their looking away causing the pressure to thicken and build and _press _against a spot right between my eyes in a more _irritating _fashion than _painful_—

I exhaled, the action shaky and I'd like to believe _visible _at the coldness I was feeling against my skin. With a sudden boldness I had hoped I could have held on to, I managed a, "Is there—?"

"Kiiro—" a hiss of warning towards the male—

"I'm leaving." The man interrupted, turning and walking out of the room with a few long strides that were _too _quick and casually forced—

I waited, heart pounding, but as the door closed and Ran Murasaki continued to sip her tea with the smallest of annoyed frowns on her face and no goodbyes or pleasantries were uttered, I came to a realization that made me go breathless…

There was no love in this home.

_there'snolove...there'snolove...there'snolove_—

Was this a **home **then?

"Daichi."

_there's_—

"_Hai."_ A man suddenly appeared, taking me by surprise and making my flesh crawl at the sudden _bombardment _of _thoughts _and _feelings _and _instinct_—My mind was muddled with _there'snolove there'snolove there'snolove! _and it couldn't keep up with the sudden intervention of a butler's wrinkled face that was vaguely familiar to me at this state.

_there'snolove_—_Shiro_—_there'snolovethere'snolove_—Shiro is—

"Please escort Miura-kun out. Shiro, return to your lessons."

"Wait—" I gasped, trying to _breathe_. _there'snolove_—

"Okāsan—" _Shiro_—

"Please follow me, Miss." _there's_—

"_Stop it!" _I yelled, mind spinning and stepping away from bowing men and stumbling and gulping and—_There'snolove_—_there'snolove_—_ohShiro_—_ShiroShiroShiro_—

"Haru—ung!" The boy grunted as my forehead smacked against his chin, his arms rising to catch me around the shoulders and upper back. The fleeting pain cleared my head for a fraction of a second. Just a fraction.

But it was enough.

_There's no love here… Shiro… is… he's—!_

"Uuh~" My shoulders trembled as tears appeared in my eyes, and I began to sniff at the clogging in my ears. _Shiro… _"Shiro~!" I threw my arms around his neck and _pulled_ him to me. Clawed at his hoodie and _held _and _cried _and _wailed_—

"Shiro, I love you. I love you, Shiro. You know that right? I love you, I love you, I love you—"

Ran Shiro… has never experienced love.

_Why...?_

Was it this house?

Nevermind because—because—**no one** should go through that. **No one.**

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you—"

It was lonely. So lonely. Being by yourself. And even though Shiro had me, he only had me two months of the year. The other ten...the other ten…

It must be so, _so_ **lonely.**

And I would know.

I _know._

Even though I had Miura Emi's and Miura Kazuo's love. Even though I had Durante Incubo and Akane Jigokuno. And _maybe, _just _maybe, _Vongola Nonno…

Even though I was surrounded by so much love and light...there was still a dark hole in my chest that although _has_ shrunk… was still _prominent _and very nearly driving me _mad _from loneliness because this new family was _not. the. same. as Lacie and Celia and Ma—_

Was it death?

Was this hole… was it the lingering touch of death that stretched from my chest to—?

"Mmph!" It suddenly became hard to breathe; what with my face burrowed in unruly white hair and my ribs being crushed by a grip I didn't believe was possible for the boy to possess!

"Shi—" He tightened his hold at my gasp, digging his face into my hair. The short strands weren't long enough to hide behind, but they were sufficient for burying into. I did my best not to flinch away from his sudden heavy breathing against my neck, the sensation tickling me but—

_He's trembling._

And the action was so uncharacteristic of him…

So I hugged him back. _Tight_ and _close_ and—

_Bang._

I jumped, head snapping towards the sound.

My eyes met Ran Murasaki's, the gray color cold and icy against my irises. Her left arm shook from supporting her weight on the low table, and I immediately got the impression she was physically weak even as her eyes spoke with a fire worthy of hell.

Those powerful eyes of her's earned my respect.

But what _really_ caught my attention… was the atypical slit up the right leg of her kimono, cutting through spring flowers and expensive silk. Because underneath the detailed fabric—

"Get out of my house." She breathed, voice low and throaty and _dangerous_.

—was a silver prosthetic.

I couldn't tell if what I felt was a burst of admiration, or a surge of pity at the sight of it.

But I had enough respect and self-awareness to know when to back off at a woman protecting what is _her's_.

"Okay," I said at the same moment Shiro fisted the cloth of my baseball tee in an act of defiance. Looking away, I slowly peeled the boy's fingers from my shirt, mumbling low enough for just him to hear me. "We'll meet up later, okay?"

He didn't respond, tensing his fingers to make it difficult for me to untangle him from me. "I don't want Haru-chan to go…" His words knocked the breath out of me, my heart pounding at the need for air.

_He... _I inhaled shakily, hating this feeling of helplessness that I managed to swallow and feel in my gut like a solid ball of titanium. "I don't want to go either…" I admitted, stepping closer, "but we can't have your mother hating me more than she does already—"

He suddenly leaned forward, pressing our foreheads together. His eyes were half-lidded, the lavender color foggy in a strange imitation of Ran Murasaki's. "Haru-chan…loves me...yeah?"

His expression…

I, maybe not so unexpectedly, wanted to take him away.

Far, _far, _away.

Away from this _fucking. hell—_

"Yes…" I breathed, clenching my jaw to keep from crying again, swallowing _fiercely_ to contain my _annoyance._ "Yes, I do."

I cared for him so, _so, _much.

We were best friends after all.

"Then… Haru-chan and I will be watching the clouds soon?"

A strange sound escaped my throat, and it took a while for me to realize it was a twisted laugh. "Yeah… Yeah, we will. But later, okay?"

He frowned, looking uncertain, lips nearly pressing into a thin line. But then—"Okay." He mumbled, releasing his hold on me.

"Good." I gave him a smile, hoping it didn't come out as twisted as my laugh had. I gave his hand another squeeze before letting go, eyes briefly glancing towards the huffing woman. She watched me with eyes so intense, I had to look away, the butler wasting no time in walking me out of the Ran Estate.

I was strangely glad of the key's presence in my front pocket as I watched the gate's doors close behind me.

_I don't understand this division in social class..._

* * *

**Thanks to:**

**KiraLoveless **(thanks a lot!)**, 10th Squad 3rd Seat **(of course he does! :3)

**Guest **(yes!)**, chibi-no-baka **(thanks!)

**New and Old **(really? you think so? thanks!)**, Allykrau **(thanks! here we go! how's this?)

**Dustflame **(your reviews always make me grin...)**, xenocanaan **(here we go~!)

**1412 karasu **(mmm...well she's in a younger body...so i don't think the reaction would be the same...)**, selfishly **(wah~! really?! maybe you can help me with my italian in future chapters?! i'd really appreciate it!)

**CherryDrug **(haha! thanks a lot!)

* * *

_Should I do reviewer quotes? There are some really good ones I want to share, like _Dustflame's _and _MissEccentricWriter's _in Chapter 3, and another one in Chapter 4 by_ Dustflame _again_...

_Meh. It's up to you guys._

_In other news, you guys know _MissEccentricWriter _gifted me with that summary right? And the one for _Chariot of Helios _too. Well, someone's been complaining about the summaries not being up to par, so if any of you are interested in wanting to replace the one I have now, I'm open to absolutely anything and everything!_

_Mmm... there were more things I wanted to say, but I can't seem to remember them now..._

_Meh._

_Please review!_

_—Alice_


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